Episode 4: An Honest Look at Grief and Loss with JS Park
Jul 23, 2024
TW/CW: references to suicide and suicidal ideation
According to chaplain J.S. Park, people are ready for the conversation around grief and loss.
I feel like I’ve been swimming in the waters of grief, loss, and lament for the past four years or more, and this conversation was a breath of fresh air after feeling like I was drowning in denial and dismissal.
Joon and I talk about what it’s like swimming in those deep waters for extended periods of time, the effect it can have on us and those around us, and how to keep going when things can seem hopeless.
download Episode Transcript 📄
Quotes 💬
People are ready for the conversation around grief and loss.
I want people to know God is about safety and about refuge. You know, the world is already so hard and God is a soft place to land.
I was hoping the church would teach me to love more and it seemed like it was saying love less. And I don't believe the heart of God is that way.
I want to be in connection with you because I see your dignity. I see your sacredness.
Some people chose not to be who they wanted to be out of fear of losing parents, losing community, losing the people around them, their religious community. And so sometimes I am seeing a person for the first time as they really are because they show me all of themselves. And at a deathbed, this is what I can do as a chaplain and a human. And the thing, the hauntedness and the hurt that I feel is if only they could have done that sooner.
There is this false narrative about victims, those who are whistleblowers, those who are people who have been hurt and share their story, who they need to be perfect in the sense that their tone has to be calm and controlled, you know, mild mannered, very even, make sure they're articulate. And if they're not, if they show even the slightest hint of anger or, you know, the phrasing is off because they sound like they're resentful or bitter or cynical.
Part of grieving is is the anger at the unfairness of it and finding room, finding community, finding even just one safe person where we can say, you know, I'm really, really, really upset and angry and just in a deep rage about this then they're completely invalidated.
Episode Resources and Links 🔗
The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon
Guest Spotlight
Website | Instagram | Twitter
As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve at Bookshop.org | on Amazon
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